To See Someone’s True Character, Watch These 2 Things 👀
There isn’t a foolproof two-question test that can reveal someone’s entire character. Personality and behavior are influenced by the situation, and people can behave differently in different circumstances. (PubMed Central (PMC))
But two things can tell you a lot over time:
1. How they treat people who can’t benefit them 🤝
Watch how they behave toward:
- Service workers and strangers
- Elderly or vulnerable people
- People who disagree with them
- Friends or family members when there’s nothing to gain
Kindness that is offered even when there’s no reward or advantage can be more revealing than charm shown when someone wants something.
2. What they do when things don’t go their way
Pay attention when they’re:
- Angry or frustrated
- Told “no”
- Corrected or criticized
- Under pressure
- Given responsibility for a mistake
Do they accept responsibility, remain respectful and try to solve the problem—or immediately blame, insult, manipulate, or retaliate?
One important caveat
Don’t judge someone’s entire character from one bad day or one awkward interaction. Research on personality shows that behavior is partly shaped by the situation, while patterns of behavior across comparable situations can provide more meaningful information. (ScienceDirect)
The real test is the pattern:
How they treat people when they have nothing to gain, and how they behave when they don’t get what they want.
