I am 87 years old: if you cannot live alone, before going to a care home, consider these alternatives.

🏡 “I’m 87: If You Can’t Live Alone, Consider These Alternatives Before a Care Home”

Needing more help at 87 doesn’t automatically mean moving into a care home is the only option. The safest choice depends on how much assistance you need, your home, finances, health, and the support available around you.

Alternatives worth considering

Home-care assistance
A professional caregiver can help with bathing, dressing, meals, medications, housekeeping, or other daily activities while you remain at home.

A live-in caregiver
If you need substantial assistance but can safely remain at home, a live-in arrangement may provide more continuous support.

Moving in with family
Living with an adult child or another trusted relative can provide companionship and practical assistance. Ideally, discuss expectations, privacy, finances, and caregiving responsibilities beforehand.

An accessory dwelling unit (ADU)
A small apartment on a family member’s property can provide independence while keeping help nearby.

Senior/assisted-living communities
These can offer meals, activities, transportation, housekeeping, and varying levels of assistance without necessarily providing the same setting as a nursing home.

Adult day programs
These can provide supervision, meals, social activities, and sometimes health services during the day while you return home at night.

Community-based services
Depending on where you live, services may include meal delivery, transportation, visiting nurses, home modifications, and help with household tasks.

Hospice or palliative care when appropriate
For someone with a serious or life-limiting illness, these services focus on comfort and quality of life. They are not simply alternatives to a care home and are appropriate only in particular circumstances.

🛡️ Make the home safer first

Simple modifications can sometimes make a major difference: grab bars, better lighting, removal of loose rugs, stair rails, a shower seat, raised toilet seats, and emergency-alert devices. An occupational therapist can help identify hazards and recommend adaptations.

The most important question

Don’t ask only, “Can I live alone?” Ask:

“What tasks can I safely do independently, and which ones do I need help with?”

If you are falling, forgetting medications, getting lost, leaving appliances on, struggling to prepare food, or having difficulty bathing or using the toilet safely, you may need a professional assessment before deciding where to live.

And if you’re 87 and currently living alone, don’t wait for a crisis to make the plan. Discuss your options with your doctor, family or trusted friends, and local aging/social-care services while you still have plenty of control over the decision.